Pandora's Box - Poached Eggs

Did you know that somewhere deep in Pandora's box was a small cache of recipes?
Whenever a person desired to roast a perfect mammoth or know how to bring the best flavor to their foraged root vegetables a recipe would form in the depths of the box.
And there they sat, quietly basking in their own brilliance, content knowing they alone had the knowledge that humans so desperately desired.
And as humans changed, discovered new foods and dreamt new desires that they never thought possible, so too did this cache of recipes grow within Pandoras chest of forbidden wonders..
Then the box was opened and many things were let free and the recipes, in all their arrogance, boldly strode off to mingle with all the other recipes janging out around the world.

And before long it was hard to tell which was which. The godly from the mundane.

But if you look carefully, throughout your life, you can discover the secret to the simple things.. The perfect scone, the never-forgotten-chocolate truffle or that wonderfully poached egg that only chefs seem to know how to cook..

Luckily for you i have discovered a couple such recipes. Here is the first, in all its beauty...I have been a lover of poached eggs as long as i can remember.

For many years I cooked them the way mum showed me until, glory of glory, i was shown the secret of the Chefs Poached egg...

A smooth white oval, gently wobbling atop your toast.. You ready yourself, with baited breath to cut into its centre and oh! that gorgeous orange ooze of yolk! Only with a poached egg can you create the breathtaking duo of set white and gently warmed yolk. Obviously if you like your yolks more well done you can leave it in a little longer.. But it is, of course, up to you.

I would recommend that you use fresh free range eggs for maximum effect. When i dream of the perfect egg, i prefer for it not to have come from a chicken who has been tortured most of its life... Plus, they genuinely taste better.

My Mums Way;
Boil a kettle, or get your hot tap ready.
Gently heat a tsp of butter in a small pan with a splash of oil. You dont need much. Crack your eggs into the pan and leave them to set for literally about 30 seconds. Pour in the hot water, making sure you are not pouring directly onto the eggs, but rather near them so as not to break them. Add enough water so as to cover them. Simmer gently for 1-2 min until it becomes just a shade paler. To test doneness, lift from the water with a slotted spoon and press gently with your finger. Cook longer if necessary.
This method is the simplest way i know to poach eggs however the problem with these is that the bottom will always be more cooked than the top. Not really a great prowblem i know, but we are looking for perfection here, though it still is pretty sexy.. Admire.

THE CHEFS METHOD

Bring a pot 3/4s full of water to a slow boil. Add a dash of whatever cheap white vinegar you have lying around. You don't need heaps. All the vinegar does is help the whites to set, not flavor your eggs. Don't be tempted to use balsamic or red wine vinegar, it tends to send them a creepy color. Trust me, i have done this.

Get your toast (or desired accompaniment) ready to go and acquire yourself a slotted spoon or failing that a wooden spoon. Swirl the water around till you have a makeshift whirlpool in your pan. Crack the egg into the centre of the whirl pool . As the water swirls around it will elegantly wrap the white around the yolk forming a beautiful thing.

Swirl the water again and crack in your next egg. I would recommend not to cook too many eggs at one time. Depending on the size of your pan. In a small pan try not to put more than 4 eggs at a time. Gently swirl the water again to keep the egg rotating if necessary and then let simmer for about 2 min.
Check done-ness with your slotted spoon and a gentle poke, drain on a paper towel then place atop your fresh toast. Or Salad. Or your head. Whatever. Enjoy.

Notes;
Take a moment while the water is heating to make your life easier. Get your eggs. Put your toast down. Grab a plate and put some paper towel or a clean tea towel on it. Calm down. Its easy.

If you're not very confident in your egg cracking abilities simply crack them into little individual molds or ramekins or cups then simply pour it from your desired container straight into the whirlpool with no worry of splitting your yolk
Also practice cracking your eggs when it doesn't matter if they break, like when your making an omelette, scrambled eggs or a cake. Tell me how it goes.
Pandora's box is not a euphemism for the fun parts of a woman named Pandora. You have a dirty mind.